Ask any young man in this town who is over thirteen To tell you about the things and places he's seen If he tells you somethin' about women you haven't known You can attribute his knowledge of anatomy to Widow Jones Well Jonesy was a go-go girl a little while before she married Sam He fell into the river Jonesy said that's water over the dam You say we oughta leave these matters to the good discretion of the law But when you have a shape like Widow Jones you have a lotta friends at City Hall [ Dobro ] Well I don't bring her up because I think we should put her down I just wanna she'd some light on the truth in this town These boys'll learn things they couldn't've learned in our schools And their parents can relax in knowin' that they're not all out and shootin' pool Well Jonesy was a go-go girl a little while before she married Sam He fell into the river Jonesy said that's water over the dam You say we oughta leave these matters to the good discretion of the law But when you have a shape like Widow Jones you have a lotta friends at City Hall Yeah the widow's got a lot friends at City Hall