Cobb County friends!
Your dark days are at an end!
I know that you've been prayin'
For an ear that you can bend
Well, it took a little science
A little math, a little myth
But I've formed a little formula
Now feast your eyes on this!
(Ah!)
A newly grown, perfect ear of corn!
It's really corn?!
Yep!
It's been resurrected and reborn
Hallelujah! In a field full of failure
It's a yellow unicorn
Woo! Maizy brought a savior for our corn
What happened?
Gordy fixed the corn!
What?!
Gordy fixed the corn!
No!
I've analyzed, hypothesized, and agonized
And realized the reason why your corn is dyin'
Is because of those rocks!
Rocks? What about the corn?
Got a corn problem?
I'm your man
Need a green thumb?
I'm a whole green hand
What's your plan?
The corn's in trouble
So let's troubleshoot
Like any other problem
The problem's at the root
And the roots ain't rootin' 'cause the soil ain't soakin'
And the soil ain't soakin' 'cause the rocks are suckin'
All the water from the soil
All the water from the stalks
Wanna fix your corn?
You gotta start with the rocks
What's he sayin'?
The rocks gotta go!
Move those rocks
And your corn will grow
Oh!
Move those rocks
And the corn will grow
Whoa!
Well, holy shit!
Holy shit!
That's a lot!
Who'd've thought?
All we gotta do is move those rocks!
And it was like (and it was like)
Cornography (corn-lottery!)
Maizy walked into a shucking victory!
Beau said "You gotta be shuckin' kiddin' me!"
Lulu, Peanut, Maizy too
Did that thing they always do
What? Sing!
Everything you thought you knew about me
Just because you caught a bus to Tampa -
Just like that, I turned it on its ear
He will never fit into our world
And that corn wouldn't stand a chance without me
Don't do it, girl
All you did was doubt me
Ever since you came back here ('Cause you came back here)
And Gordy said
The corn will grow!
And Maizy said
I told you so!
And the whole town turned and looked at Beau
You believe all this?
Well, yes we do!
You really do?
And I do too! (Yes!)
Beau was jealous, Beau was mad
Stubborn pride was all he had
Lulu, Peanut, the whole town too
Did that thing they always do (Sing!)
The place went nuts (Oh, I'm a woman of the world)
Shuckin' nuts (Corn!)
They lost their minds (Mean-eared, Cobb County corn)
I'm not just (He saved us) (I fixed the corn!)
It was all confused (I fixed the corn!)
Did you hear that corn?
Say what you will
I'm a woman of the world
He fixed the corn!
Sure did
Then Gordy got down on a knee in the dirt
Found a little rock, just to show 'em how it worked
Beau told Maizy
You are outta your mind!
And she was on her own this time
Well, I think -
When Maizy told Beau
You can jump off a dock!
Just about the time
I loosened up a rock
And this is where Maizy kinda lost the plot
But it ain't so crazy to think the thought she thought
Why yes, Gordy Jackson
I will marry you!
What?
What?
What?
What?
What what what what what?
Holy shit!
What about that shit!