I don't know why I can't shake this
Feel like I've been livin' life, in the matrix
I don't even feel alive, it don't make sense
I just wanna be alright, I fuckin' hate this
Tell me when's it gonna change
'Cause every single person keeps sayin' the same thing
Stay strong now you'll make it through the pain
But its hard to see the sun when you're living in the rain
I barely know my dad, now his hair's all grey
'Cause, I spent all of my time doin' drugs, tryna fade
Out all of the demons, when I couldn't get away
I never said I love you, instead, I would say I hate
All this time gone, that I can't get back
Feel like every single night, I'm just living in the past
I lie and say I'm happy, every single time I'm asked
I don't wanna be a burden, so I just put on a mask
Forty-thousand people, tellin' me I can't quit
I promise that I'm fightin', just keep prayin' that I win
Still, got a lot of things, that I still keep in
And, I need to let them go, I don't know where to begin
I used to watch my pap slap my gram, and he'd laugh, as she ran
And I didn't understand the man was so bad
So, I treated him better than I did my own dad
I was so damn young, I didn't understand
I seen shit, that a kid never should
I bottle it all up, and act like I'm good
Reality is, I'm just so fuckin' shook
I feel like an outcast, so misunderstood
I miss bein' young
Back when I didn't have problems, just fun
Back before I had to worry about funds
Now, to feel that way, I gotta get drunk
I'm still stuck in this rut
Honestly, feel like I'll never be up
I'm sick of this feeling, I swear that it's fucked
I need to make changes, reality sucks
Still don't know who I am
I look in the mirror like, "Who is this man?"
I still have no clue, of my purpose or path
But, somethin' keeps tellin' me that I should rap
So, I keep movin'
Took all my pain, and then started a movement
I swear to you all, that this is more than just music
I put all my life into all that I'm doin'
I can't let the fans down
Gotta stick to the plan, now
And, hope it all pans out
I don't know how, but I know this my path, now
Sacrificing my life
Turnin' down friends, just to stay in and write
I'm watchin' them live, as I'm sittin' behind
And, I just keep on drownin', but say that I'm fine
Feel like I'm alone
I got all these problems, and nobody knows
Everything changin', I hate that I know
I used to be happy, but now, I'm so cold
'Cause, home isn't home
I just keep on runnin', don't know where to go
These demons keep comin', I hope I don't fold
I risk my whole life, for this path that I chose