Submerged in a pool of pity I feel me soaking
This cash money got me minaj-ing with pills and potions
I'm in the mirror with a pill bottle and I'm finna down em'
My O.C.D said "how many", but who's really counting
If the fate of a mustard seed could just inch a mountain
How did I get this far and what am I tripping bout' then
I'm sure by now if I'm supposed to live I'd have thought of Something
Just in case somebody hears me, left the water running
Off of nothing and group sessions and safety plans
More acid re-flux and sharp pains like safety pins
And unbeknown side effects for med's but take the chance
I would've used a burner, homie's keep me away from them
So now were here in this bathroom and if this actually kills me
I can't help but think what my mama's reaction will be
A lot of people daily never will Tarrel be steady
And come to think about it I'm probably in hell already
(In hell already)
I vividly remember the times homie
Started to ask myself
The more i read the more i see
The more i know
We got bored on earth homie
(Uh, that's real shit)
What we do in this lifetime, echos for an eternity
I created my own hell, that shit never occurred to me
Impulses unlike minds manifested when the serpent speaks
But evil minds are just like mine, maybe I did it purposefully
And that's not to say that I'm evil
I'm speaking generally about the people
We all know who controls what and that's lethal how is that equal?
Tell me, do you control what they feed you?
Tell me, do you control what they teach you?
Well, see if you condone how they lead you
How you perceive the world that will be you
Maybe these thoughts are yours and not mine
Why we have thoughts to go and stop science
And if I'm really lost I know that I'll find
Nothing is impossible in our minds
Meaning if I think it could just be existent
Or whether I'm ceasing slipping, breathing, living
I'mma still find the will to reach within
If I'm dropping know that I'll climb
All of the time, my body and soul, I'm out of control
I gotta' grip hold, my solid composure and climb out of this hole I'm not in this globe
I'm standing on my creation
And be damned if i don't bite temptation
So there's a chance to go off the matrix
I'm in hell already
(In hell already)
Real life
Real life
That's where I'm at homies, you know what time it is homies
Just take a broad look at everything
You'll see my vision