Well I wash my dishes in the dark One big old shiny stain I can't tell apart But come October I just might get sober Well I thought admitting Was the hardest part And I don't wash my hair hardly at all But I could split a hair with a cannonball I guess I'd compare it To a half bald heretic Riding on the fence whichever way it falls And this dirt, this dust, this rust It's what I'm all about Lust, disgust, a bust Well, hell, I guess that's just my rot Well I won't wash up I just wash off No I won't wash up No I I just wash off And I keep the dirt under my nails Makes most men think I'm a man And it freaks out the females It stays embedded And I stay unwedded It's a better bet Than just heads or tails And l I wash my dishes in the dark One big old shiny stain I can't tell apart It's well past October And I'm still not sober Well I thought admitting Was the hardest part Yeah I thought admitting Was the hardest part