I will tell you 'bout my mountain home
Where all the ladies names are Joan
Where husbands work back late at night
Hopes are up for trousers down with hostess on a business flight
Taxi in a Mercedes drive
I hope that driver's coming out alive
The garden is a dorsetted
That lady, she's so corseted
She's got 15 ways to lead that boy astray
He thinks he's one and only
But that lovely she's so lonely
She pumps him full of breakfast
And she sends him on his way
What a sing song dance
What a performance
What a cheap tent show
Oh, no, no, no, no, no
Then the boys light up
Then the boys light up
Then the boys light up
Then the boys light up, light up, light up
Then the boys light up
Then the boys light up
Then the boys light up
Then the boys light up, light up, light up
Silently she opens the drawer
Mother's little helper is coming out for more
Strategically positioned before the midday show
Her back is arched, those lips are parched
Repeated blow by blow
And later at the party all the MPs rave
'Bout the hummers she's been givin' and the money that they save
To her it is skin lotion, him promotion too
That flat in Surfer's Paradise with the ocean view
What a sing song dance
What a performance
What a cheap tent show
Oh, no, no, no, no, no
Then the boys light up
Then the boys light up
Then the boys light up
Then the boys light up, light up, light up
Then the boys light up
Then the boys light up
Then the boys light up
Then the boys light up, light up, light up
Then the boys light up
Then the boys light up
Then the boys light up
Then the boys light up, hey
Then the boys light up
Then the boys light up
Then the boys light up
Then the boys light up
Then the boys light up
Then the boys light up
Then the boys light up
Then the boys light up, light up, light up
Then the boys light up
Then the boys light up
Then the boys light up
Then the boys light up, light up, light up
Then the boys light up
Then the boys light up
Then the boys light up
Then the boys light up, light up, light up
Then the boys light up
Then the boys light up
Then the boys light up
Then the boys light up, light up, light up
Then the boys light up
Then the boys light up
Then the boys light up
Then the boys light up