Seems like every now and then
I try to pick myself up from these lows
How can I expect to do that?
I don't even feel like pickin' up my phone
I'm stuck somewhere in-between one
And someone there all the time
But sometimes I don't have enough energy
To even stay on the line
'Cause I've been down and out
I've been down this road
And I know that it ends in nowhere
But, still here I go
'Cause it's all I know
And there's comfort in bein' nowhere
If my heart had wings
I'd fly away far, far from the light
'Cause I like the dark
If my heart had wings
'Cause in the dark, all those mirrors don't shine
And I never have to look myself in the eyes
If my heart had wings
I'd say bye to this world I despise
And I'd fly to the Heavens above
If my heart had wings
Maybe then I'd regain some respect for myself
And I'd love who I was
If my heart had wings
I just wish that I could know my purpose
Everything I got, I feel like I don't deserve it
My entire life, I've been out there searchin'
But I'm always cold inside, like a thermos
I got hated on for bein' me
So I started hatin' who I was
And ever since that moment, I ain't ever been the same
Self-hatred is a drug
And I'm addicted, not by decision
But by association with the wicked
And every time I try to kick it
Life looks at me, and doubles up on my prescription
The man in the reflection, I despise
I've tried to change him, but it's every time
I try to force him forward, he enjoys the torture
Wants it more, and goes to hit rewind
I'm stuck in a cycle of pain and denial
I've stomached more than I can take
Feels like the older I'm gettin', the more I'm forgettin'
How simple life was in the day
Back when happiness was my default emotion
The path of people's filled with rocky roads and
I scream when I think of the life I've chosen
'Cause, sometimes, I don't wanna be a soldier
I just wanna be a man
Simple life, simple goals, simple plans, God help
I got a lot to love in my life
But one of them isn't myself
And everyone I love deserves better
My girl, my family, my friends, and my fans
They need the best that I can give 'em
But I cannot do that, when the pain never ends
So please, grant me this wish
Let me fly, so I can be at my best, and I'll show it
And if my heart don't grow wings
I'll rip it right out of my chest, and I'll throw it
If my heart had wings
I'd fly away far, far from the light
'Cause I like the dark
If my heart had wings ('cause I like the dark)
'Cause in the dark, all those mirrors don't shine
And I never have to look myself in the eyes
If my heart had wings
I'd say bye to this world I despise
And I'd fly to the Heavens above (fly to the Heavens above)
If my heart had wings
Maybe then I'd regain some respect for myself
And I'd love who I was
If my heart had wings