Another try not to cry Christmas
Another try not to cry Christmas
The little ones are all but shunned at that strangely degrading kids table
The mistletoe says, "No, you don't need a kiss, you need divorce papers"
The turkey's dry and grandpa's high on oxycontin pumpkin pie
Oh me, oh my, what a gong show
Ho, ho, ho
It's just another try not to cry Christmas
It's just another try not to cry Christmas
And when I tell my eyes, "Don't you cry, it's Christmas"
What do they do?
Oh, they monsoon
And Uncle John
Goes on and on
About QAnon and Armageddon
John, shut up and your girlfriend too
She's 21 and all coked out dude (ha, ha)
Phewf, Thank god John and the blonde's gone
But so is the innocence from being young
No more sugar plum fun, rum-pum-pum-pum-pum-pum
It's just another try not to cry Christmas
It's just another try not to cry Christmas
And when I tell my eyes not to cry on Christmas
What do they do?
Oh, they monsoon
(Cry, cry Christmas)
(Cry, cry)
(Cry, cry Christmas)
(Cry, cry Christmas)
(Cry, cry Christmas)
Cry, cry Christmas
Cry, cry Christmas
Cry, cry Christmas
Cry, cry
Cry, cry Christmas
Cry, cry Christmas
Cry, cry Christmas
Cry, cry
Ahem-ahem, so the rain falls down and the snow turns brown
And the sun comes out, it's a winter drought
And the climate bleeds and screams and pleas, "Sing with me"
One, two, three
Another try not to cry Christmas
It's another try not to cry Christmas