My fingerprints are getting burned off
From using the too hot touchpad
Of my MacBook Pro
As I casually scroll through
The fetish-based forum
Of which I am an active member
I promise I will never use the term anthro-fiction
When describing your body of work
I promise I will never stop overusing superlative words
Like rad or awesome or neato
Because you always work on Thursday night
And I need something else to analyze
I'm making a fortune, painting you a portrait of the artist
While we're waiting for these updates to upload
Let me talk for just a minute about your use
Of the symbolic father figure
I haven't been outside since last week
When I went to the beach
Where I spent the whole time
Looking at the ocean wishing it was warmer
Where I spent the whole time
Looking for a stronger wireless signal
Because ciarrocci net only had two bars
And was very unreliable
Because you always work on Thursday night
And I need something else to analyze
I'm making a fortune, painting you a portrait of the artist
So, for the first six months or so of the Covid-19 pandemic
I just- I couldn't leave the house
Like, not even y'know masked or whatever, I was just terrified
Uh, I would roll out of bed
I would just stay in bed
And play Minecraft, not talk to anyone
It was- it was genuinely one of the single-handedly
Most terrifying experiences of my entire life
Like, like, we didn't- I- I still don't know what's out there
Like, what am I gonna do once school starts and
No one's social distancing
Like, am I gonna die? Am I gonna die? No, please god, no
Because you always work on Thursday night
And I need something else to analyze
I'm making a fortune, painting you a portrait of the artist