Hi F.B.I., I see you've found my channel
Director, you're looking lovely
Hey, is that new flannel?
I bet you're probably here because you wanna know
Why I turned up in all those manifestos
Well, what I think is important to understand
Is that I'm not some ringleader, okay?
I am just a man
Making videos online to elicit a few laughs
So, I'm not responsible for all those terrorist attacks
Listen! It's satire, it's parody, I was just joking
Can you really blame me for one or two shootings?
Okay, okay, I know it was five
That's probably why you think I'm
The guy that made all those people die but
I make jokes online, broad subjects I explore
And fine, they're edgy sometimes, but it's edge and nothing more
Come on, F.B.I., you have to believe
That I'd never really say anything that I mean
Y'know this is a great opportunity to talk about mental health
And the broader social issues causing people to act out
Y'know, maybe instead of all this focus on me
We should be turning our heads towards, uh, society?
I am sorry
I find it chilling that my brand was
Implicated with so many mass killings
I am so, so sorry, y'know, in the abstract
For the victims of those horrible, horrible attacks
Attacks which, by the way, I am not to blame for
For I'm a poor performer, my job is to entertain
I never thought that saying we should go kill groups of people
Would lead to people going and killing groups of people
I'm so sorry, that people don't understand parody
I'm so sorry, that I've lost so much money
I'm so sorry that people misinterpret what I said
It's real sad that all those kids got shot in the head
But, I am not responsible for anything I say!
Irony and satire frees me from blame!
I keep criticism at bay as I make the world worse!
And you'll let me get away with it 'cause I'm speaking this in verse!
Huh? Ohhh. Oh, I am getting arrested. Oh yeah, that's fair