I drew a lemon I thought we'd last forever But you drew the curtains And pulled yourself together Me I was certain We'd wed and save our pennies You went for a burton Said 'sod the consequences' A couple of friends called by And asked me to go out Well maybe on friday night I'll iron a shirt Choose a tie And drink until that well is dry, but I drew a lemon Those girls just laughed and wafted by I sat there waiting Waiting for snow in mid-july They threw a party But all three guests were boring I turned on the TV To drown the sound of snoring A couple of cops dropped by 'Cos Mr Singh complained The level of my Hi-Fi Is driving him to drink, I think I'll turn it down 'til you turn up again A couple of years rolled by And me I'm doing fine I work for the F.B.I. They promised me a christmas bonus Just think one day this will all be mine But I drew a lemon I punched that gift horse in the mouth I won't get to heaven If heaven's north then I'll chose south A couple of friends crawled by And beg me to go out Well maybe the time is right To iron that shirt Choose a tie Watch you and your friends Go sailing by