Can't feel love!
Why is it so hard to let it in?
Heart overflows, but nothing makes it through
Built a brick wall while I was sleeping
Mortared with trauma, the pieces slide right in
No one gets in, at first, that was the point
But the sunlight hardened faster than I expected
Now I'm clawing with nothing, wasn't prepared for this
Now I'm trapped in the dark, desperate for company
May have built this tomb, but it's not my fault
It's a long fucking story
Thought I had no choice, thought it was right
It was normal as day to me
May have built this tomb without a key
In a lapse of my young judgement, but
What do you expect? What should I have done?
Would feeling it be better?
I can't feel the love offered to me!
I can only give and hope that it's returned!
My whole life
Stuck with a feeling of anxiousness towards all my peers
Couldn't make a connection
Love was just a word said to pacify, justify
Not a real feeling
What I would give for a chance to go back
And explain to myself that it wasn't normal
To feel this emptiness, that there's more at play here
Fuck me, why did it have to go this way?
Empty pain, I can't handle it
Day by day, I keep feeling lifeless
It keeps up, I'll keep sinking lower
Into this abyss that my mind's become
I won't care, I'll be too detached
Day by day, I'll just get more useless
Taking up all of my friends mental space
I won't care, I may finally know peace
If I can kill this part of me
Is it too much to ask to feel some affection?
Is it enough to live with lack of emotion?
Am I enough to be worth being cared about?
Is it too late for me to turn my life around?
Is it?
I'm so fucking tired
It's all so fucking dull
Fuck