Hello, everyone! Do you want your child to get real smart? A little bit of math, here or there I've got just the place for them to start! Watch out for the ruling master! Beware, he's getting faster! Refrain from making noises That man's a saboteur Hear the slaps from down the path Just to avoid his wrath Now, the professor wants you in his grasp! Get your prize! Won't you come on in? Into my schoolhouse? Stay the course and follow through I'm slowly coming after you I'll bring the punishment That's what I do! You know it's true! I've been tripping Over myself too much Basic mathematics Seemingly growing out of touch! Feeling kinda sick of running Clock's been looking kinda funny Thinking about home As I forever roam With danger of detention lurking everywhere I go! Two plus two equals? Well, that's easy, that's just four! Either that, or the answer's on the floor! Wow, great job! (wait, what was that?) Three more notebooks left to go But, my energy is getting low! This curriculum, it blows! I should've been home so long ago! Five notebooks down, got two more to go! I've done so much math that my brain will explode! (Wow!) You can't get out, even if you already knew how! Every answer you get wrong I will be sure to sing my song As long as I get you to tag along You will belong! Stay the course and follow through I'm slowly coming after you I'll bring the punishment That's what I do! My life is on the line I'm running out of time In this locker I find myself in to avoid his crimes I'm feelin' fine Despite my struggling to stay alive Will it be over by tonight? The walls are getting bloody My mind is falling me Can't stand up on my feet Save me from Mr. Baldi! Don't wanna hide and seek out Exits from this creepy creep I've gotten way too close Jeez, I hate this the most! I guess that I will not leave here!