I was sittin' in this beer joint down in Houston, Texas
Been drinking Colorado Kool-Aid and talkin' to some Mexicans
And we was... Uh, what's that you say?
What's Colorado Kool-Aid?
Well, it's a can of Coors, brewed from a mountain stream
Why hell, it'll set your head on fire and make your kidneys scream
Ooh, it sure is fine
Yeah, and we was having ourselves what you call
One of them real good times
But you know, every beer joint that you've ever been in
Some big mean drunk, who just ain't got no friends, sure enough wants to fight
Yeah, he gon' whoop everything in sight
Well, sir, he took him a big cold swaller of beer
And he walked over and spit it in my Mexican's friend's ear
Well, now, sure enough, that made my buddy real mad
'Cause, that's something like he ain't never had
Well, sir, he pulled out a big long switchblade knife
And quick as a whistle, he begin to slice
And that big mean drunk stood back; his face full of tears
Lookin' down at the floor at one of his ears
Hm, well, he cut that thing off even with the sideburn
Now you might say that that little old Mexican fella just didn't give a dern
But he was a gentleman about it
He bent over with a half-way grin, he picked it up and handed it back to him
And he said, "now, big man, you get the urge to spit a little beer
Just open up your hand there and spit it in your own ear
Won't be no trouble that way"
That's what I heard him say
And I said barmaid, set us up a round of that Colorado Kool-Aid
And while you're up there, bring this fella a box of Band-Aids
Now, let me tell ya, if you ever ridin' down in south Texas
And you decide to stop and drink some Colorado Kool-Aid
And maybe talk to some Mexicans
And you get the urge to get a little tough
Let me tell ya, you better make damn sure you got your knife-proof earmuffs
Hey, ain't that right, big man? I said, ain't that right, big man?
Oh, hell, he can't hear, not on this side anyway, he ain't got no ear
Hey, barmaid! Bring us a big glass of that Colorado Kool-Aid
How about it, how you doin', big man?
You still got your ear in your hand?
Hehehe, gee Lordy