Jessica Fletcher and Lieutenant Columbo They couldn't fathom out what's wrong with you Captain Hastings and Hercule Poirot They couldn't fathom out what's wrong with you You're a murder mystery Of that there's not doubt Not even Quincy could figure you out You're a murder mystery And you're freaking me out Doctor Watson and Sherlock Holmes They couldn't fathom out what's wrong with you Sergeant Lewis and Juliet Bravo They couldn't fathom out what's wrong with you You're a murder mystery Of that there's not doubt Not even Quincy could figure you out You're a murder mystery And you're freaking me out Yeah, you're freaking me out Yeah, you're freaking me out Yeah, you're freaking me out You're a devious swine Of that there's no doubt You've a criminal mind, But I'm working you out Just give me more time! You're a murder mystery Of that there's not doubt Not even Quincy or the dog from Due South You're a murder mystery And you're freaking me out You're a murder mystery And you're freaking me out Agatha Christie and Daphne du Maurier They couldn't fathom out what's wrong with you But I hope I do