I took my girl to a fancy ball, it was a social hop,
We waited till the folks got out and the music it did stop...
Then to a restaurant we went, the best one on the street,
She said she wasn't hungry, but this is what she eat:
A dozen raw, a plate of slaw, a chicken and a roast,
Some apple sauce, asparagrass, some soft-shell crab on toast;
A bowl of stew, some crackers too, her appetite was immense,
When she asked for pie, I thought I'd die, for I had but fifty cents.
She said she wasn't hungry and she didn't care to eat,
But I got money in my clothes to bet she can't be beat;
She took it in so cozy, she had an awful tank,
She said she wasn't thirsty, but this is what she drank:
A whiskey skin, a glass of gin, which made me shake with fear,
Some soda pop with rum on top, a schooner full of beer;
A glass of ale, a gin cocktail, she shoulda had more sense,
When she called for more, I fell to the floor, for I had but fifty cents.
Of course, I wasn't hungry and I didn't care to eat,
Expecting any moment, to be kicked into the street;
She said she'd bring her family 'round, and someday we'll have fun,
When I showed the man the fifty cents, oh this is what he done:
He tore my clothes, he smashed my nose, he hit me on the jaw,
He gave me a prize, a pair of black eyes, and with me swept the floor;
He grabbed me where me pants unloose and threw me over the fence,
Take my advice, don't try it twice when you got but fifty cents.
Take my advice, don't try it twice when you got but fifty cents