I went down division five local RCMP to file a missing persons report. Well, they looked me up and down then their eyes went to the ground, They burst out laughing and they showed me the door I showed the officer my tears said, "I ain't seen her in years." And he said, "Son, do you know where she's at?" I said, "I'm pretty sure I do, at least the province and the town But she swears that she ain't never coming back." And he said, "Brother that's the deal Sometimes it's over and done for real There ain't a goddamn thing the Mounties can do We get folks speeding in their cars getting way too drunk in bars But I got just the thing for a sad sack like you But I got just the thing for a sad sack like you." He pulled out a prewar Double O, wired up in stainless steel Aimed it at my heart and took a breath "You sure you're ready for the truth Because that's the ammo that I use." I said, "I am," and raise my hands and dropped my head And he sang, "Brother, that's the deal, Sometimes it's over and done for realized There ain't a goddamn thing the Mounties can do We get folks speeding in their cars, getting way too drunk in bars But I got just the thing for a sad sack like you I got just the thing for a sad sack like you." I went down division five local RCMP to file a missing persons report. Well, they looked me up and down then their eyes went to the ground They burst out laughing and they showed me the door Said, "We ain't never seen nobody so lost before."