Two cool cats just sittin' at the bar Tellin' each other how hip they are Talkin' 'bout millions an' spendin' them dimes Jackin' their jaws an' just wastin' their time I ain't lyin' I ain't lyin', no I ain't lyin' 'Cause I've seen it a thousand times In walks a shapely, young, dark-haired, beauty Two heads come spin around just like "Howdy Doody" Each one is thinkin' that he wants what she's got But she's gettin' better lookin' with-a ev'ry shot I ain't lyin' I ain't lyin' I ain't lyin', no 'Cause I've seen it a thousand times Watched one sucker start to make his play I hear him mumblin' as he's walkin' away Tried to tell his-self, she wasn't really that fine But that he still could-a copped a feel if he'd been tryin' I ain't lyin' Oh, I ain't lyin', no I ain't lyin' 'Cause I've seen it a thousand times Now, look here You think I'm lyin' but guess what? I don't care 'Cause I'm a witness, an' I swear I was there I seen that next fool, sit up an' beg Sometime a man ain't nothin' but a dog on two legs I ain't lyin', oh no I ain't lyin' I ain't lyin' 'Cause I've seen it a thousand times.