Old Simon Stimson was once in love with me When I was solid as a smokescreen, bluer than a tree. But all of this has changed and now I'm faster than a clam-- I'm sober as a churchkey, just as happy as I am. Once I could get by on the forty-dollar dole In a carton made of duct tape on a pallet on the floor Bottle empties quick these days, and flim has come to flam. But it's kind of hard to tell when you're as happy as I am. Brilliant as a box of hammers, fragile as the moon, Stylish as a jaybird, sneaky as a spoon. Heavy as the bluest note, true as any sham, Safe as a house on fire, just as happy as I am. I was dreaming that you were what I was dreaming of, Louder than a lighthouse that's been whispering of love, Funny as the Pope on fire, ferocious as a lamb, And all I hope... is that you... are... As stormy as a teacup, as fragile as the moon, Stylish as a jaybird, sneaky like a spoon. Heavy as the bluest note, true as any sham, Safe as a house on fire, just as happy as I am. All I hope is that you are as happy as I am.