After over 300, 000 miles
12 dozen breakdowns, nervous
One too many midnights and a bunch of broken laws later
I have come here from out of the rain and into this rest area
Caught, 22 miles between you and me watching the Information Man
Behind his Information Booth, juggling predictable conversation
With folks who look like iceberg lettuce and who believe that somehow
The flat lines of small talk will give us life
I want them to leave
Like a big deal orchestra removing itself from the stringed section
So I can fiddle with fate and make music
There is a distance the size of bravery
It forms like words in the mouth of a baby
Reaching out for the point where all things meet
On one end of it sits an Information Man
Who I imagine holds down his second job as church bartender
Behind locked doors, leading to the bell tower we are not allowed see
On the other end of this space
I am standing like shoe polish on an overstocked shelf
Hoping that one day someone will pick me to make things better
This is not a showdown or a shootout, we are not facing off
But I can feel the rumble between dusk and dawn
As if the chance to come clean with myself will be outlawed unless I relax
I have heard, that if you pull a bent breath
Through the second hole of a harmonica
Tuned to the key of Georgia
While a train moves by on the tail end of dusk
There is a good chance you will finally know what it means to rest
I have not yet rested
It takes a long time to make love with someone who hates themselves
It feels like I've been standing here for exactly that long
When at last, the rain outside drops off
And takes everyone in the rest area with it
Except for me and the Information Man
If we were created in God's image, then when God was a child
He smushed fire ants with his finger tips and avoided tough questions
There are ways around being the go-to person, even for ourselves
But tonight we will get the answer, and you know what I'm talking about
The Answer
Emphasis on E, Answer
So I put my best foot forward
And take the kind of deep breath that gives me away
As someone who deals with anxiety and odd numbers
Every other
Other every minute
In between it, the Info Guy's eyes grab me then shift
Back and forth
Like mopping floors with the sweat I sweat in battles against myself
He's got me locked in and is smiling
If you've never been rocked back by the presence of purpose
This poem is too soon for you
Return to your mediocrity
Plug it into an amplifier
And rethink yourself
Because some of us are on fire for the answer
I am ready for rejection and rebirthing balance in my stutter steps
When the Info Guy finally pipes up
Like C.R. Avery on a piano box
And says to me:
I can tell you're looking for answers
In the same way I can see when Kenny Rogers is out of aces
So for a taste of your whiskey I'll give you some advice
(Laughs)
I'm just fucking with you
You're not allowed to have alcohol here, man
It's a rest area
Listen
If I didn't have so much of this life all wrong
I would have gotten it right by now
I talk a whole bunch, but I really know only a few things
So I'm not saying to follow along verbatim here
I'll just tell ya the things I tell myself
The things I know
And you can see what sticks
I know our shoes were stitched from songs about highways
The best songs are the ones about Georgia
Even though I've never been there it's the only place I still believe in Jesus
I know that no matter what it is you believe in
You've got to spare yourself the futility of making fun of God
Because that guy hasn't even talked
Ever
I know troubleshooting yourself in the foot
And acting as your own universe is a tricky dichotomy to deal with
But, yes, you are the center of the universe
If you weren't you wouldn't be here
So as the middle of space, and everything floating in it
It is your job to know that the emptiness is just emptiness
That the stars are stars
And that the flying rocks hurt
So please, stop inviting walls into wide open spaces
I know everything is out there
It's why they call it everything
I know there are times
When you will lay your head to rest
And have a moment of brilliance
That will grow into a perfect order of words
But you will fall asleep instead of painting it down on paper
When you wake up you will have forgotten the idea completely
And miss it like a front tooth
But at least you know how to recognize moments of brilliance
Because even at your worst you are fucking incredible
It comes honest
So return to yourself even if you're already there
Because no matter where you go
Or how hard you try
Or what you do
The only person you're ever going get to be
And I know it
Thank God
Is you