Being gay Has its problems it's true But being straight Has its problems too I met this girl and she's just great But the problem is that I am straight You ask how can this be Listen, and you will see She's got that style She's got that smile She's got the walk She's got the talk She's got that zing There's just one thing She's got a penis She's got a penis She's got that flair Knows what to wear She's got that face That girl is grace She's got pizzazz Too bad she has A penis She's got a penis Now nobody's perfect, I must admit Say how many times do all the pieces fit She's got more going than most other dolls Oops I forgot about the balls But she's so hip This babe's a trip She's distinguée She's got cachet She's quite a dame Ain't it a shame A crime that's heinous Those lips, those eyes, Then, big surprise That penis ♪ There's always some failure, always some flaw Ain't that what they call Murphy's Law But male genitalia, that's where I draw the line Besides, hers is bigger than mine She's got class She's got that sass She's got that chic She's got mystique She's cool she's hot She's got the lot Except a mound of Venus It's a tragedy But where that should be She's got a penis She's had a penis My life's a mess 'Cause under that dress She's got a P-E-N-I-S Yes