I've started lookin' you up to see
If you've gotten further along than me
It's hard isn't it to let go of the thing we need
So I've started crafting my apology
I'm not sorry for leaving
I'm sorry that I made you bleed
You're not what I needed
And I'm sorry 'cause that sounds so mean
You were a season
You were the one with colors and leaves
That's why I'm leaving
Leaving by way of your memory
And I think we're all human just kinda doin'
The god damn best that we can
Cuz I didn't want to hurt you, and I still believe in you
Despite some of the things that I've said
And I'd take all of the blame for you
If I thought that that were right to do
And there's so many times I thought of it
You see I'd take all of the shame for you
You know like the way I used to do
But I fear this would happen again
This isn't wrong is it
To love you and hate you the same
I'm goin' along with it
'Cause my feelings have led me this way
I stopped trying to solve it
Yesterday I dug the grave
You should've seen me sobbing
When I picked up flowers on the way
Don't you go startin' rumors and nonsense
Or I'll let down my decency
I'm doing you just fine, I paint you in a good light
In fact I just ran into Elise
It's clear she's on your side
So I swallowed down my pride
I think that means I'm setting you free
But I don't know sometimes
When I'm alone I still cry
Then I get to thinking it was me
And I think we're all human just kinda doin'
The god damn best that we can
Cuz I didn't want to hurt you, and I still believe in you
Despite some of the things that you said
And I'd take all of the blame for you
If I thought that that were right to do
And there's so many times I almost did
You see I'd take all of the hate for you
You know like the way I used to do
But I fear this would happen again
So I fired all my therapists
'Cause every one led me to this
My gut is smarter than my head
But my best friend's back in therapy
And I thought he looked good to me
But I accept him for who he is
And soon as I started saying that
He looked at me in his blue hat
And said, "Man, I think you learned your lesson"
I'll never know if there's a god
I'll try to do more right than wrong
And bam, that's one hell of a plan
This is the end, and I don't know what else to say
I'll just pretend that I everything I know is okay
And if I send you a letter and you get it someday
Will you then read it with a smile on your face