Paris hates the dresses
Gave them all the axe
But everything's fine right down the line
For Ohrbach's, Bloomingdales, Best & Saks
"Horrible," says Paris
Speaking of the slacks
But wait'll they see the hit they'll be
At Ohrbach's, Bloomingdales, Best & Saks
Cheer up and smile, milady
Places to go
One hundred eighty million
Growing Americans couldn't be wrong
Those that have a simple life
Seem never old or sloppy
Plus, the fact the other kind is
Goddamn hard to copy
"Out of date," says Paris
"Youth is what she lacks"
We guarantee this
You just can't miss
At Ohrbach's, Bloomingdales, Best & Saks
Do all your copies wear as well
And last as long as a real Chanel?
Are all the copies you make and sell
Exactly the same as a real Chanel?
They're totally identical
In every way authentical
And made to a perfection
No collection could surpass
Except the colors run a bit
The seams, they come undone a bit
The wool is made of plastic
And the plastic's made of glass
And occasionally
They go up in flame
But they're practically
Yes, practically
The same!
"Tedious," says Paris
"Flatter than her chest"
But what'll they say
On opening day
At Ohrbach's, Bloomingdales, Saks & Best?
Here they may not want you
We want all you have
For what do they know?
We know they'll go
At Ohrbach's, Bloomingdales, Best & Saks
Feel that!
They're mad about the dresses!
Wild about the slacks
Those heavenly four that I adore
From Ordin's and Sackingdale's and Blooms
And Blooms and Ohrbach's and Saks
These handsome rugged angels
Tell me to relax
They know that I'll sell like creme caramel
At Orbloom's and Backingdale's
And Dale's and Baks and Daks and Baks and Saks
God bless George Washington
Sam Goldwyn, and Ike
Three cheers for Al Capone
And God bless the eagle on the top of Peak's Pike
These saintly men of muscle
Filled with charm and poise
Are positive that
I'll knock them flat
At -
Orbach's, Sakingdales, and Blooms
And Saks! (Right!)