Look at her!
A prisoner of the gutters
Condemned by every syllable she utters
By right she should be taken out and hung
For the cold blooded murder of the English tongue
Aooow!
Aooow!
Heavens, what a noise
This is what the British population
Calls an elementary education
Come, sir, I think you picked a poor example
Did I?
Hear them down in Soho Square
Dropping aitches everywhere
Speaking English any way they like
You, sir
Did you go to school?
What you tike me fer, a fool?
No one taught him 'take' instead of 'tike'
Hear a Yorkshire man or worse
Hear a Cornish man converse
I'd rather hear a choir singing flat
Chickens cackling in a barn
Just like this one
Eh, garn!
Garn?
I ask you, sir
What sort of word is that?
It 'aooow' and 'garn' that keep her in her place
Not her wretched clothes and dirty face
Why can't the English teach their children how to speak?
This verbal class distinction
By now should be antique
If you spoke as she does, sir
Instead of the way you do
Why, you might be selling flowers, too
I beg your pardon, sir?
An Englishman's way of speaking absolutely classifies
The moment he talks he makes some other Englishman despise him
One common language I'm afraid we'll never get
Why can't the English learn to
Set a good example to people whose English is painful to you ears?
The Scots and the Irish leave you close to tears
There even are places where English completely disappears
In America they haven't used it for years
Why can't the English teach their children how to speak?
Norwegians learn Norwegian
The Greeks are taught their Greek
In France every Frenchman knows his language from 'A' to 'Zed'
The French never care what the do, actually
As long as they pronounce it properly
Arabians learn Arabian with the speed of summer lightning
The Hebrews learn it backwards
Which is absolutely frightening
But use proper English, you're regarded as a freak
Oh, why can't the English?
Why can't the English learn to speak?