God it's too easy
To stay so angry
Holding onto my grief
Is still holding onto you, baby
I did all of the big stuff
The first week of the first month
Mailed your key
And tossed the letters too
Stopped responding
Started understanding you
Don't do it
I did it
I listened again
To the voice notes from last year
That I would send
I tried to write you a lullaby
For every bump in the night
I would've sung it for the rest of time
If that made you feel alright
But I never found the perfect poetry
And it took nearly all of me
My first love and my first farewell
Never again but I wish you well
Death grip on my pride
My best weapon is my smile
Pressure building in my tear ducts
I used to think I knew so much
Don't do it
I did it
I listened again
To the voice notes from last year
That I would send
I tried to write you a lullaby
For every bump in the night
I would've sung it for the rest of time
If that made you feel alright
But I never found the perfect poetry
And it took nearly all of me
My first love and my first farewell
Never again but I wish you well
Now I count regrets
Like children count sheep
Think of all the ways
I'm my own worst enemy
Pinch at the parts
Of my skin that I can't stand
I picture the girls you posted
In bikinis in the stand
While I stood with sunken eyes
Dressed in all black
Feathers on the ground
Days that I can't get back
God it's too easy
To stay so angry
Letting go of my grief
Letting go
Finally