Tony is a hustler, how we love him so He is like a father to us He taught us all we know One salaphin golden morning He waltzed across our path He offered us the key to life We couldn't help but ask What's the secret, Tony Brother would you help us out We'd do most anything For you to assuage all our doubts Tony looked at us squarely Said Brother, I'll tell you what I'll give you the secret to life for just twenty Altarian bucks So we forked over our money He said I'll give you the key You can't trust everybody just because they're offering That's the secret Tony What is this, some kind of joke Give us back our twenty We'd rather be stupid than broke Tony was a hustler But he'll never try that again Because we took back our money And a little bit extra to spend What's the secret Tony Thank you for nothing, I guess 'Cept for that money We wish you all the best Here's a secret Tony We'll give it to you for fun Don't hustle somebody Outnumbered two to one