I done kept it cool But that's the calm before the storm Only so much that a man can take before it's overboard I keep patching up these holes But I'm leaking at the source And I ain't lying Being genuine It done shook me to my core I know my worth, huh That what ain't what this about I don't deserve bout half the shit this world been putting out This life done hurt me all these times But I still stick around It's real apparent those around me failed to figure out About the meaning of respect and how this loyalty can live On the surface things are the great Behind my curtains I been hit This ain't paradise to me It's living hell I'm being real I been pushed right to the edge but I can't jump I never will (Sigh) But all the people closest to me cut me like a blade I try to run from all these problems But I can't escape Acting like they really care for you it's like charades The way they switch up on you crazy feeling night and day There's some trouble in my paradise and I been feeling lifted Brain a ship I thought was stable til a hurricane hit it Lately I done lost my shit I'm trynna find it I can't fix it Giving up on everything just not an option but I'm tempted I'm just another lost soul trynna find myself Had it on my own til it all went left It goes deeper than it shows Scarred deep can't tell If I'm healing or just coping with the cards that I been dealt I'm feeling sideways Been fucked over five ways I'm going over guard rails, a hunnit on highways To get away from feeling like I'm trapped with a migraine Bags up on my eyes like I ain't sleep up in nine days And I just wish that I could I say I love you to my bro again It's his birthday while I'm writing this I'm tearing all up on the pen Everything just hitting me at once But no I'll never give I try to look around for help But it's just me and they all disappeared And all the people closest to me cut me like a blade I try to run from all these problems but I can't escape Acting like they really care for you it's like charades The way they switch up on you crazy feeling night and day There's some trouble in my paradise and I been feeling lifted Brain a ship I thought was stable til a hurricane hit it Lately I done lost my shit I'm trynna find it I can't fix it Giving up on everything just not an option but I'm tempted I'm just another lost soul trynna find myself Had it on my own til it all went left It goes deeper than it shows, scarred deep can't tell If I'm healing or just coping with the cards that I been dealt