Tell you the story about the tubby from Kansas I know I was plump for my age But I knew how to sing and I knew how to dance And knew my way 'round the vaudeville stage Cut all the crap and quit all that slapstick You ain't what you're meant to be Your singing's a grace that you're going to waste Said the voice of the century I said: Why be second best? We'll see who's laughin' last As I walked out into the stage lights The king of the cake fight I made a bet you wouldn't believe As I said, I could sing like a bird I'm gonna be on top of the heap Without ever saying a word Now what can I say: The people rejoiced And they loved cracking up over me As the boy with the golden voice Seized the silver screen I rode my fancy car Down sunset boulevard To my mansion by the lakeside The king of the cake fight You know how it goes, you know what's at stake That fame has a shady side You make a fortune out of throwing a cake And someone always wants a piece of the pie She wasn't much better when she hopped off the train A starlet just drifting along I took her upstairs for a glass of champagne What could ever go wrong? She don't look so well But what the hell It's gonna be a great night For the king of the cake fight A DISGRACE AND A SHAME! The king of the cake fight WIPE OUT HIS NAME! The king of the cake fight