I put the barrel to my head and send a text to my mother
I'd be better off dead
The message said
Reggie text me back saying that's some nonsense
I hit her back
Mama, I think that I've fucking lost it
Got some pills in my system and some liquor down my throat
I'm not playing the victim, I hate being on my road
She trying call me now but I won't answer my phone
Sweat going down my head, losing feeling in my toes
Hand shaking from my nerves but I won't drop that gun
Time to take my fucking life, I swear to god that I'm done
Hand slippеd and hit "answer the phone"
I can hear her screaming saying; "Please, Parker don't go!"
Not your time to fucking leave, it's time to take a breath
Parker just breathe
Five minutes away, can you please wait for me
My mouth is so numb, I can't say no words to her
It hurts even more because I know my worth to her
I know I'm selfish for deserting her
But I can't tell if it's worse for her, or if it's worse for me
I take it to the forest, let them fucking search for me
I got my shoes tied, dirty Nike's on my feet
Pills are finally kicking in, I can barely even see
I open up that door, my problems started to flee
Cause the pain that started this will be over for me
I hope it will be over for me
I've been feeling lonely, lately
What if I go?
Will I find peace for me? Maybe
Last letter that I wrote
Last letter that I wrote
Walking along the train tracks alone again
Got my girl on the phone again
This shit you can't take back, now I'm losing hope again
Memories play back, I just don't know how to cope with them
Tell her that I'm tryna' keep my head up but I'm fed up and
I don't hear the voice inside that tells me to get up and
Because of her, that I'm tryna' hold it together
My body folding as I'm holding this phone and writing my final letter
Now she's crying and screaming tryna' believe it
I feel like I'm dying, I'm leaving
My knuckles hurt from all the punching, I've been fighting my demons
Now she's running like she's never done, trying to breathe and
No rush babe, it's something that I'm done with
I've thought about this many times; how I'm fucking nothing
And I don't see no love and, I look around
I look around for something to remind me to stick around
But I see nothing so fuck it
(Fuck it, fuck it)
Now she's tryna' talk me out of it
Screaming, calm down
There's other ways to go about it
"Sorry, I didn't believe you", why would I ever doubt it?
I'm coming over now, there no way to ever stop it
Nah
Sitting in my hoodie
Sweat is pouring and I'm nervous
Think of what I could be if everything was more perfect
Should I take the leap of faith? There's no reason why I shouldn't
When this world only made me see and believe in
What I couldn't
Damn, we almost didn't put through
And if we didn't me and Parker wouldn't be talking to you
For all of you, who come from broken hearts and broken homes
Know that you're not lost just 'cause you're a broken soul