A quorum was collected when certain problems were detected
Committees for reform, everyone must fit the norm
And no child will be neglected. Each and every one inspected
Even Santa is expected to conform
Just because, Mrs. Claus, just because we really care
You've got to start the diet or the man won't fit his suit
It's because Mr. Claus will not stop eating that we beg you
If he won't take care of himself, it's clearly up to you
Sure he's a jolly fellow,
Brings joy to boys and girls around the world
But he's a roly-poly role model and his body mass index must be absurd
It was decided by decree to measure children in the schools
It only stands to reason, Santa must obey these rules
Just because, Mrs. Claus, just because we really care
You've got to stop your baking or the deer can't pull his weight
It's because Mr. Claus will not stop eating that we beg you
If he won't take care of himself, you've got to set him straight
Be judicious with the fast food.
Please curtail the use of oil and butter
If he simply must munch a bit try
Vegetables not bread and peanut butter
Hide the potato chips, no in-between meal snacking
When he was walking rooftops last year, ceilings started cracking
I know its cold at the Pole but Santa needs to get some exercise
He now requires assistance of an elf when his boots become untied
By following our guidelines and generally behaving
He'll shed a few lbs. and we'll try and talk him into shaving
Just because, Mrs. Claus
Just because, Mrs. Claus
Just because, Mrs. Claus