I want a friend like you One who gets to do those things you do I wanna screw them too, But only after you I wanna schmooze them too We can bet on who blacks out by 2 Thinking we can blow our stash and drink our cash We're trust fund brats who give it back Sluts, clubs, and bars They only wanna drain who you are When you can be of use A fool, to lose I know it's not the truth But damn I'm thinking that I Still want a friend like you One who won't show up without "plus 2" And I'll learn to judge who's who By what they offer you We'll comb the night in packs Desperate for at least a one time pass Where maybe I can twirl around and twist and shout I want the cool you're giving out Sluts, clubs, and bars They only wanna drain who you are When you can be of use A fool, to lose I know its not the truth But damn it's close enough for you