Will.i.am: Aw, thank you, folks.
Hey, are all you elves and reindeer having a good time tonight?
Well, good, because right now, I'd like to bring out
Our own furry funny man.
Ladies and gentlemen, put your paws and hands together.
The big North Pole welcome for Fozzie Bear. Yay!
Fozzie Bear: (spoken) Thank you, Will.i.am.
Thank you, thank you and thank you!
(Singing) Fozzie Bear my name
And comedy's my game.
I'm happy to be here tonight
At the North Pole Comedy Club.
I'll sing a song or two,
We'll have a laugh or two,
It's Christmastime and we're here and fine
At the North Pole Comedy Club.
(Spoken) Hey, how's everybody doing out there tonight?
So why does Santa take presents to all the
Children of the world?
Because the presents won't take themselves.
Aaaah. No, no, no, no, please don't leave.
I just got started. (sighs)
Say, do you know where Santa stays
When he's out on the road?
At the Ho-Ho-Hotel.
Wait, you gotta love this part.
What do you get if Santa comes
Down the chimney
While the fire is still burning?
Crisp Kringle! Wocka wocka!
Statler: Sir, Statler has got a better question.
What does it end?
Statler and Waldorf: D'oh-ho-ho!
Fozzie Bear: (singing) Fozzie Bear my name
And comedy's my game.
I'm happy to be here tonight
At the North Pole Comedy Club.
I'll sing a song or two,
We'll have a laugh or two,
It's Christmastime and we're here and fine
At the North Pole Comedy Club.
(Spoken) Okay, let's see,
Where was I? Oh yeah, the elves.
Do you know how elves say hello to each other?
"Small world, isn't it?" Aaaah. Do you guys hear
About the elf who put his bed into the fireplace?
He wanted to sleep like a log. How many elves
Does it take to change the lightbulb?
Ten. One to change the lightbulb
And nine to stand each other's shoulder!
Statler: Those light jokes are older than Statler!
Waldorf: Ha, ha, then you're only past ten.
Statler and Waldorf: D'oh-ho-ho!
Fozzie Bear: (singing) And if you like
What you see,
Tell everyone you know
To come to me.
But if you don't like my jokes,
Make sure you never tell the other folks, please.
Rabbit's my name
And comedy's my game.
I'm happy to be here tonight
At the North Pole Comedy Club.
I'll sing a song or two,
We'll have a laugh or two,
It's Christmastime and we're here and fine
At the North Pole Comedy Club.
(Spoken) Hey, and what's the story with those reindeer?
I mean, why do they always wear fur coats?
It's probably because they look
Silly in snow suits. Wocka wocka!
Statler: That's too much!
Statler and Waldorf: Boo!
Fozzie Bear: Let's see. When should you give reindeer milk to a baby?
When it's a baby reindeer! Aaaah. No, don't turn on me now,
Folks! Does anyone know what you call
A reindeer wearing earmuffs?
Anything you want because he can't hear you.
Statler: Statler wish Statler couldn't hear you.
Waldorf: Well, then, enjoy the act a lot more now.
Statler: You're kidding.
Waldorf: No, I turned off my hearing aid three jokes now.
Statler and Waldorf: D'oh-ho-ho!
Fozzie Bear: (singing) It's time for me to go.
I hope you like the show.
It sure was fun to be with you
At the North Pole Comedy Club.
We had a laugh or two,
I sang a song with you.
Merry Christmas to you all
At the North Pole Comedy Club.
(Spoken) Happy Holidays, everyone! Wocka Wocka!
(Singing) Merry Christmas to you all
At the North Pole Comedy Club.