If you don't love NASCAR, yer a homo If you don't love huntin' bear, yer a homo If you don't like fightin' in a ballroom brawl You better check up yer skirt, 'cause yer missing balls Yep, you guessed it, yer a homo If you don't love shotguns, yer a homo If you don't drink Pabst Blue Ribbon, yer a homo If you never got drunk and took a swing at your dad Why don't you put on some makeup and a maxi-pad? Yep, you guessed it, yer a homo If you don't love football, yer a homo If you ever played soccer, yer a homo, big time If you think rodeoing is sick and wrong You must like gagging hard on a hairy dong Yep, you guessed it, yer a homo Now if you don't own a pickup and a fishing pole You must like takin' pecker up the rectum hole If your mom never beat you with a rollin' pin You must like those nuts bouncin' off your chin (off your chin) If you drank bottled water, yer a homo If you ever ate sushi, yer a homo If you'd rather have a salad than a T-bone steak I betcha got two fellers on your wedding cake Yep, you guessed it Yep, you guessed it Oh, yep, you guessed it, yer a homo