I am scared.
Blackness core deep past where doors reach and my resoning seeps
When my subconscious surrenders to sleep
I know, I know that I'm scared.
I'm not as afraid that you've left me somewhere along the way
As I am that you, you were never even there.
If the ropes snapped while I was climbing I would expect to fall
But if I fabricated this fantasy,
The very fibers holding me,
If my gravity is fragility,
I have no where to land at all.
You can take away my ground but at least give me my body,
My feet.
I found myself at a place I never intended to be.
Staring things in the face I never intended to see.
And I always thought we were holding hands.
You were standing right beside me.
I knew every reason and retort,
Every response, word, and verse I had rehersed
I'd memorized the plan.
And when people asked me
Man I answered.
When my doubts pushed, I pushed back faster.
Yes somehow I ended up pushing too hard, too fast,
I pushed past and broke through the looking glass and fell through.
Suddenly it seems like everything I ever knew
And you, had shattered too.
If I drown in the water
Sink on down to the bottom of the great sea,
Are you waiting there for me?
Oh oh.
If I drown in the water
Sink on down to the bottom of the great sea,
Are you waiting there for me?
Oh oh.
You know what? I may be scared but I'm not sorry.
I owe you no apology.
Because I did everything you ever asked of me.
You told me to be bold and I was daring.
You told me to have faith and I followed wholeheartedly.
With every part of me I looked,
I searched the corners and quarters of my soul to see where,
Where have I hidden my pride?
Where had I buried the guilt and the shame of that moment
When I turned away but
I couldn't find it.
All that exists is a desprate desire to do what was right.
So tie me to this earth.
I will not waste my time trying to find something that I cannot define. Some agenda that I have seen mocked and undermined.
I wanna live for more than that.
And I will not see this precious life this
Gift I have been given maligned in the process.
So, I will dive in.
I will swim, soar, fall, fail, or fly.
My only request is,
If you're still getting this message,
Don't let me drown.
No, I, I only left the nest because I thought I'd find you
On the way down.
And if there is nothing left after this,
If I am only meant to exist.
Let my climactic impact so scorch and flair
That it mars the very dirt.
Tie me, both wrists, tie me tightly to this earth while I breathe.
I wanna live for all I'm worth.
If I drown in the water
Sink on down to the bottom of the great sea,
Are you waiting there for me?
Oh oh.
If I drown in the water
Sink on down to the bottom of the great sea,
Are you waiting there for me?
Oh oh.
If I drown in the water
Sink on down to the bottom of the great sea,
Are you waiting there for me?
Oh oh.
If I drown in the water
Sink on down to the bottom of the great sea,
Are you waiting there for me?
Oh oh.If I drown in the water
Sink on down to the bottom of the great sea,
Are you waiting there for me?
Oh oh.
If I drown in the water
Sink on down to the bottom of the great sea,
Are you waiting there for me?
Oh oh.