If Momma was married,
We'd live in a house
As private as private can be
Just Momma, three ducks, 5 canaries, a mouse
Two monkeys, one father, six turtles and me
If Momma was married
If Momma was married,
I'd jump in the air,
And give all my toe shoes to you,
I'd get all those hair ribbons
Out of my hair
And once and for all
I'd get momma out, too
If Momma was married
Momma, get out your white dress
You've done it before
Without much success
Momma, God speed and God bless,
We're not keeping score
What's one more or less?
Oh, Momma, say yes
And waltz down the aisle while you may
I'll gladly support you,
I'll even escort you,
And I'll gladly give you a way
Oh momma! Get married today!
If momma was married there wouldn't be anymore
Let me entertain you!
Let me make you smile!
I will do some kicks
I will do some tricks (Sing out Louise!)
(Smile, baby!)
Momma, please take our advice
We aren't "The Luntz"
I'm not Fanny Brice
Momma, we'll buy you the rice
If only this once
You wouldn't think twice
It could be so nice
If Momma got married to stay
But Momma gets married
And married
And married
And never gets carried away
Oh Momma!
Oh Momma!
Oh Momma!
Get married today!