Staring in the mirror like
I'ma wake up in a minute this ain't real life
Yet to shed a tear, I
Swear to God the way I thought it'd feel like
That the clocks stopped tickin'
That the world stopped spinnin'
And the dark blocked out the sun
But after all this time still all I feel is numb
It might sound selfish but I really need you right now
Without someone to bounce shit off I lock all this inside now
Won't lie now, feel like I'm in a trance or in depression
In the past, you always had the answers to my questions
Do nightmares last forever?
How long these bad dreams gon' come?
Will this shit get better?
When we gonna see the sun?
How come they didn't see that lung?
Why'd they tell you see it shrunk?
When all that fucking treatment done
Is make you sicker, weak and numb?
All these questions eat me up
How do we find peace?
Have you found it? It would mean a ton
Why I feel the need to run?
And do you think that shes the one?
And when you're looking down, are you proud when you see your son?
You said its gon' be hard, but we don't even know
Cuz now you're in the ER, with trouble breathing tho
Tell me you'll be alright, I really need to know
Now I'm sitting at your funeral, my tears ain't even flow
What the fuck is wrong with me, man I don't even know
Family friends are all around I'm just like please leave me lone
4 days after you leave us yeah I'm out here playing shows
I'm just going thru the motions no emotion and it shows
Staring in the mirror like
I'ma wake up in a minute this ain't real life
Yet to shed a tear, I
Swear to God the way I thought it'd feel like
That the clocks stopped tickin'
The world stopped spinnin'
And the dark blocked out the sun
But after all this time still all I feel is numb
You put us first and you were last
If I reversed, and lived the past
I wouldn't roll my eyes and laugh
And criticize and say you nag
The pent up feelings that I had
I never let myself feel sad
This goes for me, Joey and dad
Up this IV, inject this saline bag
Time for ITP, oh its not all that bad
You really gotta eat, but don't eat this, eat that
We never took a second to enjoy what left we had
Yeah, now I'm filled with all these regrets
I wish I let you closer, I wish that you could read this
I wish that you could be here guess the coping never ceases
You're the glue held us together feel we're broken into pieces
I wish that you could be here for the weddings of your three kids
Walk Melissa down the aisle, plan it, make it seamless
And be the worlds best grandma to my nephews and my nieces
And when me and Liz have kids you could spoil them to pieces
See, I look up at the stars and moon and I
Close my eyes and then I try to think 'bout better times
And when I look up and I hope you're doing fine
I just wish that I could tell you I love you one more time