Ladies, ladies, the eternal mystery
Through my history they've acted rather sisterly
Or they would tend to want to mother master B
They were never after me and I never dastardly
So I never got respect from the hoes
Too few yesses and too many no's
I suppose if one's a gentleman as part of one job
One can't make a lady have a go on one's
Robert Mitchum was a lad and a bit of a cad
But my attempts at that sort of thing were rather bad
I'm glad though, I am, to be be a gentleman
Holding doors open and helping your gran
Across the road but never toadying
It fills me with foreboding
Like posing in draylon and pensioner bling
So I'm not a chap to take liberties
But when once they would have scorned little B
Now they curtsey for me, curtsey for me
When once upon a time they would have rather ignored me
Back in they day they were all nitpickers
Now they're up and down like a stripper's knickers
Pop that front leg out
And drop into a little bow
That is how the ladies greet me now
From saltburn to guildford
They bend their knees in the most lady-like way
In southend on sea they terrorise me
But their obeisencey is a lovely display
For now they.
Curtsey for me, curtsey for me
When once upon a time they might have rather ignored me
I like bit of hogging
When I'm in town dear
Bow your pretty noggin and while you're down there
Pop the front leg out
And drop into a little bow
That's how the ladies greet me now
In Henley they bend knees
In forest gate they prostrate
In Guildford they make me feel good
In Puckpool they... no.
(Trombone solo)
In kensington bending down
That's a sight to see
Truly I say!
On hampstead heath
Skirts can be brief
And then what's underneath can make a chap run away
When they curtsey for me
Curtsey for me
When once upon a time they would have rather ignored me
Back in they day they were all nitpickers
Now they're up and down like a stripper's knickers
Pop the front leg out
And drop into a little bow
That is how the ladies greet me now.