Waiting Room Etiquette
Yes, I'm bating my heavy breath
My page is now getting wet
And it's grating this vetting process
They're making us get up a sweat
Forsaking us taking bets
On whether it's life or death
Not expecting the very best
So I do what I do best
Diversionary tactics
Immersing myself in the classics
While writing verses for rap is
But I've been waiting this long
I thought I'd write a list song
Feel free to tell me if I've got this quiz wrong
We'll start at the beginning, making sure you're not late
And when you take your seat, don't talk about your prostate
In a loud voice
It's not the crowd's choice
Your bets are off, being the grown man who's found the toys
And before you go there you'd best take a book
Unless you're the type who can get engrossed in Take a Look
Or Hello Magazine
It's a slow bloody scene
And here's a bit of house-cleaning, keep your hands clean
Because we don't know where they've been
Waiting Room Etiquette
A handbook of sorts
But don't go in there babbling your medical reports
Waiting Room Etiquette
I hope this will help
Ignoring the screams and disregarding the yelps
Waiting Room Etiquette
Uncautionary tales
Making some males go awfully pale
Waiting Room Etiquette
Confounding the cynics
Waiting Room Etiquette
At the clap clinic (Clinic)
(Yes, I suppose I could have mentioned that bit earlier,
But there we have it)
So now you've got the full picture
Here's where the get strict
Because you may have picked a sit next to a chap who's fractured his
Did you know
You can choose to be bold or do as you're told
But some people in here are surprisingly old
You can take your pick when you take your position
And if you're the local vicar, sir
You come with a parishioner
Sitting here sweating because of your rotten luck
Now you're waiting for a doctor to come at you with a cotton bud
Waiting Room Etiquette
Feels like you're in a cult
Everybody sitting waiting for their results
Waiting Room Etiquette
Don't look me in the eye
And I won't look at yours because I don't want to pry
Waiting Room Etiquette
What's the matter with yours?
And that chap there looks a little bit sore
Waiting Room Etiquette
In it to win it
Waiting Room Etiquette
At the clap clinic
I feel sick