I've never seen so much of my friends
Since the days of actually hanging out together came to an end
Box upon box upon box of my chums
Showing off their living rooms and flapping their gums
Smacking their bums, metaphorically of course
Of the types who flout the rules that provokes discourse
About the tin with some popinjay going outside
Or dropping right past you, not keeping a wide berth
It provides worthwhile discussion though
This kind of topic and the like are very much in vogue
And so it shall be, for the time being, no sight-seeing
No right-meaning, chinwags in the boozer
Just sitting in my kitchen like a loser
Tonight I could use a friendly face
To help me wend my way through this bendy place
Since it thence became
But who should pop up with an invite
Someone who I used to like, but of late hasn't been right
Hey, say hello, but I must go soon
Because you're nice down the pub but you're a twerp on Zoom
You're a twerp on Zoom (twerp on Zoom)
You're a twerp on Zoom (twerp on Zoom)
Box upon box upon box upon box upon box upon box upon box upon box upon
You're a twerp on Zoom (twerp on Zoom)
Box upon box upon box upon box upon box upon box upon box upon box
You're a twerp on Zoom (twerp on Zoom)
Do you know this phenomenon?
I didn't believe it myself until I saw it with my own eyes
A once great companion can become a proper bane when sat in a banyan
Can ya' Adam and Eve it
Get back to chumship if it's worth retrieving
It's a furtive feeling, trying to work out the group dynamic
When one has decided to go weird and manic
Don't panic. There's a trick
To stop the romp when one is being a dick
We call it, "doing a Vera Lynn"
You can cut them off once you've let them in, and then
We'll mute our friends only when they're bellends
But I know we'll mute our friends and they'll go away
Box upon box upon box upon box upon box upon box upon box upon box upon
You're a twerp on Zoom (twerp on Zoom)
Box upon box upon box upon box upon box upon box upon box upon box upon
You're a twerp on Zoom (twerp on Zoom)
Box upon box upon box upon box upon box upon box upon box upon box upon
You're a twerp on Zoom (twerp on Zoom)
Box upon box upon box upon box upon box upon box upon box upon box upon
You're a twerp on Zoom (twerp on Zoom)
♪
You're a twerp on Zoom