Long ago in days of yore It all began with a god named Thor There were Vikings and boats And some plans for a furniture store It's not a bodega, it's not a mall And they sell things for apartments smaller than mine As if there were apartments smaller than mine Ikea (Ikea), just some oak and some pine and a handful of Norsemen Ikea (Ikea), selling furniture for college kids and divorced men Everyone has a home But if you don't have a home, you can buy one there So rent a car or take the bus Lay your cash down and put your trust In the land where the furniture folds To a much smaller size Billy the bookcase says hello And so does a table whose name is Ingo And the chair is a ladder-back birch, but his friends call him Karl Ikea (Ikea), just some oak and some pine and a handful of Norsemen Ikea (Ikea), selling furniture for college kids and divorced men Everyone has a home But if you don't have a home, you can buy one there Ikea: plywood, brushed steel Ikea: meatballs, tasty Ikea: Allen wrenches All of them for free, all of them for me I'm sorry, I said Ikea sucks I just bought a table for 60 bucks And a chair and a lamp And a shelf and some candles for you I was a doubter just like you Till I saw the American dream come true In New Jersey, they got a goddamned Swedish parade Ikea (Ikea), just some oak and some pine and a handful of Norsemen Ikea (Ikea), selling furniture for college kids and divorced men Everyone has a home But if you don't have a home, you can buy one there