We all know a man like Calum Dan And he drives around in a transit van Comes flying through Balallan at 106 He nearly lost it on the verge, ended up in the ditch Air do shocair Air do shocair Air do shocair Air do shocair Put your foot to the floor for a little bit of fun Pull into the lay-by for a handbrake turn I'm a backseat driver and I've always been And I really want a shot, a shot of this machine Air do shocair Air do shocair Air do shocair Air do shocair Turn up the stereo and chip her down a gear I think we'll have to stop at the shop for a beer Robbie Bell is on the phone and he's looking for a turnip Let's get out of here quick and give it laldy, do a burnout Air do shocair Air do shocair Air do shocair Air do shocair Well, it all went wrong as we went around the corner That's when we realised that we were losing the water I thought I could smell a funny burning from the clutch A collie dog came running out from behind the church Air do shocair Air do shocair Air do shocair Air do shocair