This is just a hypothetical story Of someone, let's just say it's me I'd gain acceptance for my murderous ways By stalking a defenseless prey If I were a killer I'd smile just like the boy next door If I were a killer I'd say I do it for the poor If I were a killer You'd bring me victims more and more If I were a killer Supreme Court would agree to hear my case And find me innocent of crime Holding public rallies to incite sympathy Creative actuality If I were a killer I'd smile just like the boy next door If I were a killer I'd say I do it for the poor If I were a killer You'd bring me victims more and more If I were a killer If I were a killer I'd smile just like the boy next door If I were a killer I'd say I do it for the poor If I were a killer You'd bring me victims more and more If I were a killer I'd hide behind a doctor's door If I were a killer I'd scrape you off my office floor If I were a killer Killer