For years now, there's a story I've wanted to tell
There is a story that deserves to be told
But I just haven't felt like the world was ready to hear it
I still don't believe the world is ready to hear it
There's too many cowards in the world
But today, I'm gonna take a chance anyway
This is a true story that I made up
And it involves an elderly woman who is deep into her 90s
She's nearin' the end of her life
But she doesn't regret anything
She's lived a very fulfilling life
She's experienced a lot of incredible stuff
She went from not even knowin' what cars were
When she was younger
To usin' cars in her every day life for years
She got to experience the Prohibition, the Moon landing, AOL
She's got to see it all
And now it's startin' to come to an end
The curse of all humans is death, and it's a natural thing
Or is it?
You see, this elderly woman
Has actually been pregnant for almost 20 years now
She wasn't impregnated by a penis or anything
It's not for havin' a lack of sex
In fact, she's actually been very sexually active
Deep into her 70s, 80s, and 90s
She's never stopped fuckin'
But she wasn't impregnated due to ejaculate and ovaries
You see, this woman is special
She's achieved immortality through rebirthin' herself
For Millennia now, every time she gets into her deep 70s
She gets spontaneously pregnant
And carries for roughly 20 years
After 20 years is up, she gives birth to a clone of herself
As a 20-year-old woman again
And that clone has all the memories of the original husk
So when she gives birth, and she's in her deep 90s
She pops out another younger version of herself
Which is a carbon copy of the original
As the original fades off into dusk
And you can't even really call it the original any more
Since she's repeated this process
For so many thousands and thousands of years now
Some say she existed long before even the Big Bang had occurred
This mysterious woman continues to live amongst us in secret
But I thought it was time I finally tell her story
Of the first immortal