Bonjour, hello, my name is Glass Joe!
I'm the toughest French boxer that you're ever gonna know!
I score TKO, then drink a fine Bordeaux,
And flatten all of my opponents like croissant dough!
I fight next week for the champion belt,
Mr. Sandman is tough and I might need a little help.
So I hired Doc, he once trained an elf
Named Little Mac so now I believe in myself!
I'm Doc. Hi. This bitch is gon' die.
His overall record stands at 1 and 99.
He's been hit in the head 75 too many times,
And he wants to fight Sandman, dear god, why?!
His head and his ass are about to go through an estrangement.
I think I'll start making all the funeral arrangements.
I have to be responsable and tell him he can't win...
Here's 10 bucks!
Fuck it, let the training begin!
Whoa, whoa, I'll be the champion!
I have the heart of a lion!
(That's clearly not gonna be enough)
I've got the skills, (No you don't!)
I've got the power! (Wrong again!)
You'll never catch me, I am like the Eiffel Tower! (That doesn't move!)
Whoa, whoa, I'll be the champion!
I'm buildin' an Arc de Triomphe! (That took like 30 years to build.)
I've got my beret, my eau de toilette!
I'll break this Sandman like a stale baguette! No sweat!
Now it's 4 weeks later and it's time for the fight!
I'm sad I've gotta watch a man die tonight!
Do not worry Doc, Glass Joes is built to last!
You get winded when you open up the fridge too fast!
Your weight training diet's all wine and cheese,
You've got the body of a man with an awful disease,
Your arm muscles look like a deflated apple fritter,
And your punching bag is filled with cotton candy and glitter!
*DING* *DING*
There's the bell, thanks for your help Doc!
Yeah see you in hell...
This is my moment, Vive la France.
All of my training has led to the chance!
I bench 10 Q-tips, I run 5 feet,
I did a half push up, victory will be sweet!
There's Mister Sandman, here he comes,
But I believe in myself so I have already won!
Whoa, whoa, I'll be the champion!
I have the heart of a-
Whoa, whoa, I like candy corns.
Please put them in my donuts!
Ohh, you beat the French out of him.
I have my-
My favorite color is seve-
No more peanuts for me, stewardess.
Godzilla is my dad.