A group of legendary warriors
They're world-renowned
Overwatch, bitch!
Their power's known all around
Pushin' on the payload
Is part of their plan
From Gibraltar, and then
Hanamura, Japan
Their power is tested
Wherever they go
Rockets, bullets
You name it, bro
They've never been stopped
Or met their match
A mission's arrived
So heroes, dispatch!
Hi, can you help me?
My car's broken down
The engine's all busted
I can't get my ass around
I need some friends to get
My vehicle out of the traffic
You guys look like the best
With all your fancy fuckin' tactics
Without hesitation, they begin the migration
Reinhardt pushes from behind
Traffic's redirected as Mei is unaffected
By cars honking loudly combined
Bastion transforms into a giant fuckin' turret and
Blows all the drivers away
Pharah flies up high and rockets start to fly
As the overpass crumblin' okay
Holy fuckin' shit
That was a little overkill
But what do you expect from the best?
The phone's ringing off the hook
For another job to book
So let's see where we end up next
Hi, I need assistance
I'm a 13-year-old girl
If you would help me I would be so happy
I would fuckin' twirl
Got a wagon filled with lemons
And uh, moving it's a pain
I need your skills or no one's fuckin'
Getting lemonade today
BOOM!
Our heroes get on the case
Zarya is lifting up the wagon
To her fuckin' face
Everyone is scramblin'
To clear out any space
So they can quickly get the payload
To the meeting place
Lucio plays some music to
Calm the girl
Junkrat shoots grenades
To blow up a squirrel
A strangers pulls out his phone
To call the cops
Then upon him
Doomfist "Meteor Drops"
People are screamin'
Blood is flyin' everywhere
Bullets are soarin'
And zippin' all through the air
It's a pure bloodbath
But the wagon's delivered
Our heroes take their leave
As Courtney fuckin' shivers
Another mission successful
Our heroes always thrive
Lookee here, another call
For a payload's arrived
Hi, can you help me?
I'm a very old lady
My shitty hip replacement
Just ain't enough to aid me
Your gang looks like a big bunch
Of sexy hunks of meat
Now help these 90-year-old buttcheeks
Get across the street
Like a lightning bolt
Tracer's on the scene
Hold's her hand and says
"Take all the time you need."
With little itty-bitty steps
The mission is clean
Until it starts to pour
Completely unforeseen
D.Va flies above
And shoots the clouds
Bullets rain down
Into every house
Mei starts a blizzard to
Stop the rain
But inflicts upon the neighborhood
Torturous pain
To warm the place
Orisa pierces the ground
Letting lava leak out
Spreading all around
Everyone is screaming now
It's a horrible sound
So Lucio DJ's
To drown it out
Halfway across the road
The old lady falls
Zenyatta throws out
One of his healing balls
She smashes her face
But it's A-OK
'Cause Ana throws
A motherfuckin' healing grenade
Eventually
They end up getting across
The old lady's so grateful
She is at a loss
Or maybe she's unconscious
We could never know
Because onward to their next mission they go!