Some stories are too true to tell Like how I wished your life was hell Like how I couldn't forgive myself When I threw my inner child down the well Deep breath, let me release this, this thesis is a beast kid No need for telekinesis, your silence is where the beef is Been vegan for a while cuz I don't like killing babies or the earth But it seems like being an American Does all of that and much worse It's hard to look in the mirror and search What you'll find is fear and hurt This year has been a blur, friends dying from xans and percs But you're never lonely in Babylon That's why I'm trying to travel on You can't judge me your gavel's gone, up shit creek I paddle on Poets are always complaining, rappers are always bragging I sewed them both together and turned them into a dagger And into my back I stabbed, I am judas, I am brutus I'm a poem that was never written in the pen of Pablo Neruda Pass me another plate of friends, I'm tired of making them I didn't forget those memories I assassinated them These stories are too true to tell Like how you gave up on your health Like how you pickled your liver with liquor Pills and everything else Some aren't afraid to die, they're afraid to live They don't want any help, so all they do is give You're too faded to cry, the sky's a gray abyss I hope these words are felt Are you living or existing? thriving or surviving Quitting can be risky, when you're lying about trying Lately you've been distant, your problems I can list them Why are you wishing for the Sistine When your paintbrush is nonexistent Are you a fading phantom or an opium ghost Lately I've been feeling like a has been at this podium of hope I seem to always hang myself, my friend sold me the rope You invited me to your pity party and told me to host I'm a paradox that breathes, I'm a blinking contradiction I was looking for the truth but now I'm sinking in fiction Some stories are too true to tell Like how I always lie to myself Like how I treat rap like a therapist And put my problems on the shelf I never sold out a show I just sold out my soul When I started working for a wage 15 years ago I'm out here trying to pay dues But what do you do when the dudes You pay dues too despise and hate you I'm depressed and eating grapefruit The past is a dime store novel, a sink film, a bad mystery When the karaoke bars all close They'll forget about you, even history Vultures circling around me, I'm screaming I'm not edible Sharks circling me in the pool with agents who aren't credible The hunt continues after the capture The hunter becomes the hunted Inside it all happened that's why your spirit is numb and stunted I see chem trails writing in cursive, spelling out the end times Shaky pen trail, I'm nervous but these words are enzymes I'm trying to break reality's ligaments, grizzle, and tissue Dear truth, I'm looking for you I'm trying to find you, I miss you