What's a friend but a future wound a friendly gun that'll shoot you soon
Running from these mobs and goons, dark like night in the afternoon
Eyes like nicotine moons, my coffin is my cocoon
In these ruins casting runes, trying to outlast this doom
Born a loner, sitting in corners, never had friends in school
Thought I was a stoner, another misnomer, I smile and played the fool
Made friends with the weirdos
The goths and the rap heads, and the metal head cholos too
They thought I sold drugs but I sold my thoughts, my solos were written with truth
Betrayed for money ain't it funny and we were on that conscious shit
Insecurity and ego and a high libido, a recipe for some monster shit
Ghosted so many I must be haunted, in cat's cradle with Vonnegut
Armageddon in retrospect, in 45 the comet hit
I'm an INFJ, a neurotic Aquarius, I let people in to my own detriment
Protect your energy, love it and cherish it, take the fake and dismember it
I didn't lose a friend, I just realized I never had one
But I am my wounds, I am my friends, even if I'm a bad one
You thought you had me again
Now I gotta push your out, push you out
I slow it down, slow it down
I'll write the start of the end
Here's how it goes yeah
I'm gonna push you out, love me down
Keep my space when you're around
What do you do when the person you'd take a bullet for is aiming at you?
I'm loyal to a fault, this red stain is the proof, there's hate in you
A welting flower with rotten roots, you dumped your poison on me
My life was irrelevant with toxic talk you bombed me
An emotional vampire, afraid of light afraid of reflection
Afraid of truth, I'm not angry, I'm not fake, that's your projection
You never wanted advise, your demons just wanted permission
You were never a friend, just a lying leech who couldn't listen
I felt like nothing, insignificant, you weren't there for my darkest nights
You were only there for your addictions, the gas light hid your darker side
You never celebrated my successes or commented on my creations
I guess you were jealous of my crumbs, while I gave you plates of patience
You called to talk about yourself another nagging narcissist
I'll never be an architect just a bridge dedicated arsonist
When I was depressed and wanted to vent you made it about yourself
I should of learned it the first time but it took me till the 12th
What's the difference between a goal, an expectation and a deception?
Every secret I told you from my soul was forged into a weapon
I'm everyone that hurt me, I'm everyone I hurt
Grandma used to say, we pick the ones we think we deserve
But what's a human without a scar, what's a planet without a star?
I don't care if you'll betray me I just want to love who you are
She said don't fear the future, roll the dice, give it your all
She said death isn't sad, the sad thing is some never live at all