My knuckles bloody from the shattered glass
Just finished smashing every mirror I have
I hate the new me, that left the old me in the past
Tonight, I write these words like they could be my last
Always had the last of everything, except for laughs
Never drew a crowd's reaction, except for gasps
Kept my true emotions hidden safe behind a mask
But if you've never been an outcast, it's hard to grasp
I remember them putting me down
Wish I could tell them to look at me now
But look at me how?
When I can't even look at myself, wow
Curtains close before I can bow
Straight face gives way to a frown
My psychiatrist tells me that it'll all come around
But between she and I, I think I'd rather drown
'Cause I'm sick and tired of breathing the same air
And I'm sick and tired of screaming, "This ain't fair"
And I'm sick and tired of friends who just ain't there
And I'm sick and tired of
I'm just sick and tired
I'm questioning everything
Gotta problem with me, you better swing
You're my biggest fan? You better sing
Reality, yeah, you bet I'm king
Of absolutely nothing
How does it feel to be a lost cause?
I'm thinking out loud if you're wondering
So loud, my eardrum's thundering
So how does it feel?
I can't say, I really can't say
'Cause that's the only way that I've ever felt
And how could I ever feel like anybody other than myself
Yes, I change, but not for the better
I die a little more everyday, forever
I've heard of the sun, but have I seen it? Never
Grey skies and rain have been my only weather
My memory lane is many miles long
My pain is ever-present and my smile's long gone
Before you criticize, remember this is my song
And I wrote it for myself
Internal dialogues