I picked it up, I held it, I threw it away, I strayed By far one of the dumbest things I've done to myself No embracement of the truth, it's gone Progress unwound, Ideals shut down Pin it on me, take me away I'm guilty as charged, you can call out This is my forceful vice struggling to gain some life Sometimes when you live with something for so long you can't break it Can't put it down, can't walk away Beauty in my mind defined by images shot into my mind Brain scan, observe the man I am Look at my hands, I'm trembling at the mistakes I live One day I'm awake, the next day I'm dead This is not real, this I know But it calls on me, how does this work? It's so fucking twisted, It takes me away It sweeps me off my feet, I know how this goes I've dealt with this before, day one, liquefy my life Take my insides out, hang them on a wall The beauty, self-security works itself into a hole But I can feel the cold from here And I know it's cold Blisters ravaged my life The life that I claimed back Turned it around