Can't remember when it all started
But it's all I know now
I used to think I didn't need to talk about it
But the truth was I didn't know how
So I held onto anything I felt I had control over
But over time it took control over me
I thought that nobody would ever need to know about it
But I wasn't doing as well as I seemed
And everybody thinks they're doing fine
Until they've gotta pay the price for their vices
Advice never followed
And the time in between always feels like it's borrowed
Falling apart at the seams 'til you swallow your pride
Realising you would have had an easier time, had you confided
Cause the weight gets heavier the longer that you carry it
I couldn't carry on
I had to find a way to manage it
Yeah
I said the weight gets heavier the longer that you carry it
I couldn't carry on
I had to find a way to manage it
This is everything I wish I could have said
My escape to get away from all the thoughts inside my head
A release from the feelings that are building up inside of me
My way of dealing with the other side of me
I used wanna hide it from the ones that I was close to
In denial of the issues i was going through
Never asked the question cause i didn't want the answer
Funny how acceptance was the only thing
That gave me a chance to move past it
No more living in the past tense
Now I'm on top and it's all starting to make sense
Ever since I found a way to channel how I feel
And realised that I no longer had to deal with it all on my own
Cause I've grown since then
Shown myself that nowadays I don't have to pretend
I'm in control, cause I know it now
My confidence, I show it now
Even when it takes a hold of me
I've finally found my release